Have you ever found yourself thinking these thoughts:

"Why won't they just listen?"

"Why are they doing this? They should know better."

"Why can't they just obey and behave?"

 

Here's what's actually happening: your children are being children, learning to navigate big emotions and impulses. And here's the beautiful part—your reactions to their behavior are simply information about your own experiences growing up. When you understand your triggers, you can choose responses that feel more aligned with the parent you want to be.

What would happen if in the middle of a high anxiety moment someone said "I wonder why this is making you so upset. Can you help me understand?" instead of "Oh, you're fine. It's not a big deal." or "Ugh! I can't handle you right now. Just go to your room." Your response would likely be one of feeling heard, understood, and connected.

Your children feel the same way. They're learning to have emotions and reactions and impulse control, and they're looking to you for guidance. When you learn to see every reaction and tantrum as communication about a need or desire for connection, you're able to help them through it while showing empathy, compassion and understanding. Your children will model whatever behavior and attitude you show them. You have the power to create the family culture you've always envisioned.

So, what do you say? Are you ready to step into the confident, connected parent you already are inside?